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| Sunday, February 11th, 2007 | | 11:00 pm |
Life, the Universe, and Everything
So I haven't posted in what's got to be the better part of a year and even this is not going to be nearly long enough to cover that time span but I thought I'd give a quick update. First of all I'm sorry that I have not posted or made enough of an effort to keep in touch with anyone. You are all awesome and I suck. That being said my life is going quite well. Med changes have really helped me no longer feel kinda down and tired all the time. Megan is amazing and we have been together more than a year now. Living at home is great especially since we got a pool table and I play games all of the time (yeah magic and DnD). I have no legitmate complaints. The only problem is that my job is not adequately stimulating but who does get jobs they love right out of college? I can't wait to go to grad school in fall '08(why didnt I listen to Megan and study for the GREs sooner...why?). I can't really complain about my job, ok so I can and will complain, but that does not mean I have any right to. Its not too stressful, I sit in front of a computer, hours are flexible, it pays well, my coworkers are good to work with, but jesus crist if I don't miss thinking. I mean a monkey couldnt do my job(well maybe half of it) but a moderately intellegent kid with degree and a C++ book could probally handle it. The problem is that I have the intellegnece but none of the knolledge for any of the interesting stuff. I work in computer vision which is a field within Comp Sci and all of my coworkers have PhDs in computer vision while I have a BS in physics. They never should have hired me. So there arent really any tasks that I have the knollegde to hande that also challenge me intellectually. If something would make me think it means that someone else could do it much faster so I get left with a lot of mundane tasks and some relatively simple programing. The other frustrating thing is that I am not excelling. I am doing alright given the circumstances and I dont think I will lose my job anytime soon but I rarely do anything that stands out and usually things take way too long. Some of it is that I am sometimes not as productive or motivated at work as I could be but largely its just hard to do anything that gets noticed when you dont have the same training as everyone else. The big thing looming over my head after work has been the GREs. I finally have picked up the studying somewhat and have memorized lots of words in the first half of the alphabet and, through multiple incorrect math questions, I have learned that integers can be positive or negative(doh!) and that it is key to refer to the correct graph. Figure I'll take the general GRE in a month and then I'll have 7 or 8 months to cram for the physics GRE which I will have to ace if I want to get into Princeton. Ok, I'm tired. I'll try to post again in a reasonable amount of time(maybe tommorrow). Please I'd love to catch up with everyone and I really do prefer the telephone(if actual in person encounters cannot be arranged). If you have a moment give me a call at (609)577-2607 and we will find a time to catch up. | | Sunday, April 9th, 2006 | | 9:48 pm |
Just finished a lab report that nearly killed me. It was due last Wednesday. I put way too much effort into it. Way too much. Not sure exactly why, just got going trying to figure everything out and once I started kept going. It only had to be like 5 pages with 3 or 3 pages of graphs. Mine is 17 pages with about 4 pages of graphs. So pointless and so time consuming. On the plus side its is a very good lab report and I learned a lot about plasma which I may go into. That has really dominated my life for more than a week now. Fortunately my next, and last, lab looks real simple. I dont think I could write more than a 7 page reprot if I tried and believe me, I wont. The bad news is that it is due in the middle of hell week for V-Show. I'll have to do it early which Im bad at. Oh well, I will find away. Also on the school front, I have a presentation a week from Tuesday I have barely put any work into yet. Fortunately I have put just enough work into it to decide that it is a really easy topic. I should be fine. Earlier this semester I was having alot of anxiety, but it turned out to be adderall related. My dose was lowered and it is mostly better now. I think that I am more tired again however. Its still a good trade, that anxiety was bad. Also I am bored. Dont want to do any more work tonight and its not time to go to bed yet and I have nothing to do. Guess I'll play some more internet spades, or maybe I will read the script for V-show. Overdue in doing that. | | Monday, March 27th, 2006 | | 11:42 pm |
My weekend was ok. Hung out with my sister one night which was fun. We went to a bar and played pool and I played a guy who clearly hung out there and played pool alot and had his own cue and everything and I won which was cool. I also had some work to do for V-show and got dinner with a friend one night but other than that it was a lot of down time. I didnt get any school work done at all which isnt too big an issue since I barely have much due this week, even my big weekly problem set got cancled. It is still a problem though because I have a lab report due in a week and a few days and a presentation in a few weeks that I havent started working on. Been porcratinating by playing spades online, very addicting. | | Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 | | 6:04 pm |
| You Are 29 Years Old | 
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
| | Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 | | 7:02 pm |
I'm upset
My mom hasnt paid her portion of my tuition. I'm so angry. She claims not to have the money and thinks that my dad should pay it but she hasnt tightened her belt at all. He makes more than her, but he doesnt have as much money as my mom seems to think that he does. The real kicker is that she wont even talk to dad to ask him to pay for it and he didnt do anything that bad to prompt this response from my mother. When she sent him an E-mail asking him to pay it he was naturally upset and sent an e-mail back saying something along the lines of "Who do you think you are to ask this of me..." I didnt read the e-mail and I'm sure that it could have been nicer but so what. Since then she has just been deleting his e-mails and refuses to talk to him. What the fuck. Is one thing to not talk to you ex; it's another to not talk to them while hoping that they will lend you 12,000 dollars(me and my sis) or so. He doesnt even have any reason to believe she will ever pay him back if he does. She could pick up the phone or even e-mail him and make nice and beg him for this huge favor and promise that she will pay him back as soon as she can(which would probally be when her devorce settled) buts she's too fucking proud. Did I mention that she hasnt tightened her belt at all. This was an expected expensive, unless she was expecting dad to pay it all along. I'll bet anything that her e-mail to him came accross as though she was justified in asking and of course he should pay it, I'd be pissed. Anyway, it was an expensive she could have planned for. She recently bought a house and it is very nice and she got all sorts of very expensive upgrades and she is buying expensive clothing and she even bought a fucking plasma TV. I have to study now, got a midterm tomarrow but I dont think that rage is indusive to studying. We shall see. | | 4:43 pm |
Andrew Coppock's Fortune
for March 22, 2006
|
|
Sorry LadyMeg that your fortune was depressing, I like mine :). Also happy birthday. | | Monday, February 27th, 2006 | | 12:27 am |
Things are really looking up. Nothing much has happened, just my mood is better and I've been productive. Sweet | | Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 | | 7:05 pm |
doing well
I have been doing much better. My mood has been pretty good and Ive been somewhat productive. Ive been reading economics for fun instead of playing spider solitare or sudoku. I also have almost no work due this week. I have been working on my next lab report doing stuff that doesnt have to be done until Wednesday of next week. Good stuff | | Sunday, February 19th, 2006 | | 5:30 pm |
A few good days
I have been feeling good the last few days. Maybe this is a sign of things to come. I had a good time doing lighting for the West End preview and hanging out with people afterwards. Today I have been moderately productive which is a very good thing. We will see how the rest of the evening goes as far as getting work done... | | Saturday, February 18th, 2006 | | 4:46 pm |
falling apart
So I'm not on top of life at the moment. Im seriously behind on school work, especially in one class. I was suppose to go to a concert two nights ago but couldnt because I had a lab report over due. There was no good reason why it hadnt been finished earlier. Granted I went skiing the weekend before and lost a day due to not being able to get back because of the blizzrd, but it wasnt due until Wednesday. I spent so much time trying to do it but my productivity level was worse than pathetic. I could not concentrate or make myslef work. I got overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task even though it sould have been manageable. Whole hours went by when I stared at the screen and wrote almost nothing. Thursday night trying to finish it up was the worst. I had maybe two hours worth of work but it took me at least 9 or 10 between Thursday night and Friday mourning. Something is seriously wrong with me at the moment. I had a midterm on Thursday and it went very poorly, not because I wasnt prepared but because I couldnt think or organize my thoughts and I paniced. It wasnt even a physics class, it was global economy and the material is relatively straight forward. The problems just rquired a little bit of higher level reasoning and my brain utterly refused. Its hard to predict how I actually did, there may have been a curve and I may have gotten more partial credit than I think. On the other hand I might not have. More important than the grade on the one test is that I dont know how Im going to pull myself together for the rest of the semester. My sister has gone through stuff like this, where her work became overwhelming and she hid from it and it got worse and she just couldnt face it. This is why she hasnt graduated yet, she had to take two different medical leaves because of shit like this. I really dont have that luxery with a job lined up that I imagine is contingent on my getting a degree. Well, Im not there yet but I keep feeling like it could happen. I have even been badly dropping the ball when it comes to the varsity show (sorry Erin). Im missing meetings and not following through with research and Im even behind on reading all of the e-mail conversations that I should have been actively a part of. Fuck. I was talking to my sis about all of this and she suggested dropping the show all together. I seriously dont want to not only because it would be dick of me, but also because I usually get joy out of doing shows. I need to talk to the other lighting people and the heads of the design team and give them an idea of what's going on. There is another lighting designer and two very skilled master electricians so if I do completely drop the ball the show wont be completely screwed. One possibility is that I could still help out but try to take a little bit less responsibility. Well, hopefully I can avoid that. Yesterday was a good day however. I woke up early and was actually productive and got my report done with much help from my mom who teaching high school physics. I went to the lab and was very successfull in working on the project I had. I was awake and alert. Then Megan came over and we went to a porn themed party that my old friend Nick threw. It was a great time. I also got to sleep in today and am feeling pretty good. Maybe this is a sign of things improving. Anyway I need to see my psyciatrist next week and talk to him about what's going on. Maybe there is a med switch that can help me. Here's to hoping. | | Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 | | 3:02 pm |
| | Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 | | 5:07 pm |
Things arent bad
My modd has been pretty good. I've started staggering the adderall and that has really helped me not crash. I'm definately dropping biophysical which takes a load off. I've gotten in everything I needed to without losing credit for lateness. I'm playing squash tomarrow. This weekend I'm going snow boarding with Megan which promises to be a lot of fun. I've had some sucsess researching ideas for V-show. I'd tell you details but the whole thing is very hush hush. One problem though. In addition to my normal work I have a big lab repost I havent started due and I have a midterm for a class I've barely touched the reading. Holy fuck. I actually have to bring work with me to the cabin and I have no choice but to do it. I am also very tired. Ive been getting 7 hours of sleep which is much less than I'm used to and I've working pretty hard. I have two problem sets due tomarrow which I have yet to start so this will be another draining night. Fortunately I got off work tomarrow. | | Monday, February 6th, 2006 | | 10:22 pm |
| | Friday, February 3rd, 2006 | | 10:52 pm |
life is stressful
so life is still good, but stressful. Classes are kind of overwhelming me which is sad since Im not taking that many. I think Ill take 5 but pass/fail biophysical leaving open the option of dropping it. So my week... I last posted for real on Tuesday and it's friday now. During the week I was busy non-stop between the lab, class, homework, and doing stuff like rearranging my place (I now have the bedroom and Ashish's bed is in the commonroom). Despite it all I didnt finish all of my homework. The downside of the higher dose of adderall is that I kind of crash 12 hours after taking it so I'm alert from 9 to 9 and then it gets really hard to get work done. I was really looking forward to going skiing this weekend but also stressing alot over working out the details like who was going and whatnot. Last night, when I found out that it might not happen(it did not) I kind of flipped out. The stress of the week culminated and I became agitated enough that for a second I was afraid I was going manic. Me and Ashish decided that it was for the best that skiing did not happen anyway and once the decision was made I calmed down. It meant that I could spend all weekend unwinding and catching up on work (so far I've only unwound). Also I'm going to go up to the cabin next weekend with Megan which will be very nice. I have preceeded to do nothing during the 24 hours since then and Ive enjoyed it. Tomarrow I work | | Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | | 9:18 pm |
 Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and need to look good to others. Simply stated, REDS want their own way. They like to be in the drivers seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. REDS value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be at work, school, or in their personal relationships. What REDS value, they get done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist being forced to do anything that doesnt interest them. Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave approval from others for their intelligence and insight. They want to be respected even more than they want to be loved. They want to be admired for their logical, practical minds. REDS are confident, proactive, visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be precise, factual, and direct. What Color Are You? brought to you by QuizillaThe second paragraph of the discription of reds is much more like me than the first | | Wednesday, February 1st, 2006 | | 4:24 am |
I'm a bad person for not doing homework during last 15 minutes
Curvy and Naughty
Raw score: 70% Big Breasts, 68% Big Ass, and 40% Cute! |
Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, larger asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test.
Note that you like women overall curvier than average.
My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective
measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a
combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial
expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are
either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low,
you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sexier, naughtier look. Kudos!
Recommended Celebrities: Supermodel Laetitia Casta and Actress Angelina Jolie.
| | | My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 89% on tit-size | | You scored higher than 90% on ass-size | | You scored higher than 8% on cuteness |
| | | Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 | | 5:24 pm |
good day
today is going quite well, I have been productive and had energy. I think the increased adderall has made a large difference. Also it looks like my weekend plans are back on. It looks like I'll be going skiing this weekend, yay! Back to work | | Monday, January 30th, 2006 | | 5:03 pm |
life sucks at the moment
I just wrote this long entry about what was going wrong in my life, and I dont feel like rewritting it so I will summerize. Most of my life is perfect on paper but alas, I am depressed for no reason. I have no energy at all. I am sleeping too much which is not helping my energy in the least. I have no drive or focus and am not getting my work done. My car is fucked and not worth repairing. I had a tooth crack and I have to get it pulled. My plans for next weekend which I was excited about are falling through. I am also sick. | | Thursday, January 19th, 2006 | | 7:57 pm |
My new resolution is to stop snoozing. Stop altogether. It's so addicting I think it is best to go cold turkey. Today I succeeded, got up at 10 as planned. Didnt do anything productive but at least I got up. I confess that yesterday I slept WAY to late which but that was before my new resolve. Also next week I am going to start working in the lab in the mournings which should get me going. Speaking of which I talked to my professor today and I am going to work in his lab again this semester for cash again. Good times. I looked into working for this computer vision professor to get a jump start on my job but he hasnt gotten back to me whcih is just fine. He probally would not have paid me anyway and I can just learn when I get there and get paid for it. Classes are great. I might end up taking 5 even though I only need 4 to graduate (I'm still way behind your adverage applied physist who could graduate at least a semester early but chooses not to so they can learn more). I can't decide between solid state and biophysical modeling. Both are different fields of physics I could potentially go into. Im pretty sure that Im a plasma guy but it is good to at least learn what else is out there and they both look interesting. Biophysical especailly but solid state is more important and the grade is based on a research paper and presentation and I think I would enjoy and could really use the practice doing both of those things. I know I've sworn against volentary paper writting, but I wasnt talking about physics papers, very different. Also Ive never written a physics paper. Between this class and my lab which is based on lab reports I should learn how to present my research like a physist. More later. | | Wednesday, January 18th, 2006 | | 6:06 pm |
adopt a pet
A shelter in New Jersey is closing on January 25th and all pets adopted will be put down because there is no space for them anywhere else. If you are in NJ, DE or PA please think about going here and adopting one of these pets. They are all unique individuals who are need of your love and home. It may seem like a lot of work to raise a pet...but the affection and unconditional love they give you is worth more then anything in the world. Even if you can't adopt a pet, please at least post the link in your journal and help get the word out. These pets deserve a fighting chance. Thank you. http://members.petfinder.org/~NJ75/ |
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